Skip to main content

Change

Change is a stupidly odd thing. We have to get used to things altering and things becoming different. No matter how much we want it or resist it, change always comes and with it comes the oddness.

We have to adjust in life; as we grow up with have to learn to drink and cook and be in relationships and be single and read and write and fend for ourselves.

I'm currently seventeen years old and I have no idea who I want to be. I have no idea how I'll feel tomorrow or what I want to do with my life and that is bloody scary. As much as I want things to change - as much as I want to leave school and leave the people I spend time with - I also don't. I don't want to meet new people and leave my current friends because I really, really enjoy their company.

I don't want to go from someone who (kind of) knows stuff to someone who (really) doesn't.

It's weird thinking about the future, even thinking about tomorrow or the next hour - you never know (to write a cliche) what's around the corner.

And then there's the whole 'should I, shouldn't I' scenario when we spend countless hours tossing and turning between doing something. We never want to regret things but we're also scared of doing the things that might prevent the regrets.

Change and the future are so confusing - they're so unknown and scary and ambiguous that it makes it so exciting but stomach-churningly terrifying too. I have no idea how I'm going to act or want to act in the next hour, day, month or year.

Who knows what the heck my brain will be doing then...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Teens don't read"

Earlier today Maureen Johnson pointed out that the view of "teens don't read" in the UK is deeply entrenched (which is a word that I now love  and had never heard before). As a teenager in the UK, the stigma around reading seems to be - to me - it's "uncool", it's "geeky", there "aren't any good books out there". I think the fact that a lot of teenagers in British schools are exposed to older literature or, perhaps, not that popular literature in lessons and forced into over-analysing and spending countless hours on 'what the author meant'. A point that was raised in this twitter discussion was that people didn't want to be seen reading, or didn't want to be seen reading certain books. It's made me realise that I never   ever ever  see people reading in the older years in my school ( ever ). Perhaps the odd year 7 (12 year old) or year 8 (13 year old) will read, but - from experience - they will probably be ...

Expectations

I haven't even attempted to write this blog post until now because I haven't really fully contemplated the goings on of this past week. To say they have been crazy, mad, bonkers... dumbfounding even would be a slight understatement. After spending the last three days recuperating and avidly watching season 2 of Gilmore Girls I have finally realised that I, Claire Margerison, have just left school. I have four exams and a results and that's it. Kaput. Done. Bam. Gone. Poof. Weird. My last day and leavers' ball (prom, whatever you may call it) were sublime - and I genuinely mean that. Other than the nearly fainting and having to leave and getting laughed at in the leavers' assembly, it was utterly perfect. I spent a majority of my prom catching up with teachers and just talking to them about the future, about the past, about my ex-boyfriend in particular (hah, sorry Michael - suffice to say I think you enjoyed the conversations too!). It was amusing and fun and ...

Books and other musings!

I love books. If you know me, you probably know that I love books, because I am now on a leaflet that is advertising Young Volunteering over however a larger area. It's rather disconcerting (and, to be quite frank, the picture could be nicer too!) that people can see my face whenever they want to... not that they can't do that anyway, what with making the YouTube videos and what have you thingy ma bob. This book to your *works out left and right in head* right (? I have no idea... my brain is sleepy) is the book that John Green recently recommended and I have also recently purchased because of this recommendation. I learnt last time ( Anna-and-the-French-Kiss- last-time) that John Green is pretty damn good at book recommendations! I run a reading group with some of the people I volunteer with at my library and we're just  getting started. We've had three people turn up so far ( I know. ) but we're working on it! I'm currently annoyed because I wrote a lovely...