Skip to main content

More Endings: Second Year of University

It seems that our lives are compromised of endings; lots of little chapters with some loose ends, some rather neatly tied up. Four years ago I left compulsory education to do my GCSEs, now I'm about to sit an exam that will mark the end of my second year at university. We seem to have this incessant need to categorise times in our lives. It allows us to look back at certain times and recall memories, whether fond or bad with a sense of reflection.

Fifteen year old Claire was very different from now. I was about to embark on my first relationship, I was young and naive and also very, very ignorant. Luckily, I was ignorant in the nicest way possible; I was handled with care by all those around me. I drank for the first time with the best possible people I could have, my first kiss was much the same. I am so, so lucky to have grown up the way I have.

This year has also thrown some trials at me. I started second year thinking it would follow a very different thread that it has done. Although I am feeling better about how things have turned out, until I leave this room (which, admittedly, I do love. It's my very own space to be Sara Crewe in) and close that front door behind me, I will let go of so much and feel a big sense of relief. I've learnt in my second year of university, that to love oneself and enjoy one's own company is one of the hardest but most important skills to have. Without gaining that skill, and battling with myself I wouldn't have stuck this year out. I never realised how not alone I was until I kind of was. And even then, I had the most supportive and lovely friends. I continue to do so.

I've also learnt to forgive and forget, to work harder than I've ever worked, to be tolerant, to juggle a billion things at once, to be assertive and most of all to be ambitious and believe in myself. I've made decisions this year that will have an impact on my life. I trust myself more than I ever have done and I honestly believe that I can do it (whatever it turns out to be).

Next week I embark on two weeks with the lovely folks at Icon Books doing my first ever publishing experience. (Follow me on twitter and instagram to get second by second updates... that sounded more appealing in my head!) This summer I am also having surgery, so here's a heads up for that appearing at some time in the near future.

Good luck to all you lovely people with exams. Even if you don't have exams, lots of hugs and sunshine to you anyway. See you on the other side. x

Comments

  1. Good luck with your exams! I've just finished second year myself (luckily I don't have exams though haha)
    Shona x

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Teens don't read"

Earlier today Maureen Johnson pointed out that the view of "teens don't read" in the UK is deeply entrenched (which is a word that I now love  and had never heard before). As a teenager in the UK, the stigma around reading seems to be - to me - it's "uncool", it's "geeky", there "aren't any good books out there". I think the fact that a lot of teenagers in British schools are exposed to older literature or, perhaps, not that popular literature in lessons and forced into over-analysing and spending countless hours on 'what the author meant'. A point that was raised in this twitter discussion was that people didn't want to be seen reading, or didn't want to be seen reading certain books. It's made me realise that I never   ever ever  see people reading in the older years in my school ( ever ). Perhaps the odd year 7 (12 year old) or year 8 (13 year old) will read, but - from experience - they will probably be ...

The concept of 'okayness'

Something I've noticed through both personal experience and observing other individuals is how human beings deal with the concept of being 'okay'. Generally we all have good things and bad things going on in their lives, take me for example: bad - back pain, medicine; good - family, friends, home, life, food, money... good stuff happening and change (change is an 'okay' right now rather than a 'not okay'). I happen to think that my life is  okay at the moment because, for me, the good stuff out ways the bad stuff by a milestone. Throughout a day I may become not okay but on the whole I am - on the whole I'm happy. I have noticed though, through reflection and looking at others, that we almost have this desire... this tendency to want to point at the 'not okay' bits of out lives and make them of a higher importance than our 'okay' bits. If I'm having an average day it can much more easily become a bad day than a good because I reme...

Girls on YouTube

You know something that is really  annoying me lately: slimey YouTube comments. I posted a video, admittedly yes because I knew it would get attention because I'm a girl talking about Skyrim, wearing a vest top because that happened to be what I was wearing at the time and I've had really... objectifying comments. It's not even as if some of these comments are commenting on my looks, they're commenting on my body. I don't even care if guys think when they see a girl in a low-cut top "ooh, boobs!" but they don't (usually) voice this in person, so why should they be allowed to do it on the internet? It annoys me greatly; imagine if I was two years younger and had done the same thing? It would put me in a very vulnerable situation, and it still does in a way. I want people to view my content because they like what comes out of my mouth, not because I'm female and film in casual clothing. I've even had someone accuse me of angling my camera so ...