Practically Alice

As I humbly wave goodbye to 2014 from the recesses of the sofa, full of flu and masses of food and the belly to show it, I can't help but think that I'm a little too pleased about the oncoming year. It's not been a bad one - to say so would be to be rather woe-is-me but it certainly hasn't been the best. I have had good news and bad news. I've made new friends, met with old ones and had jolly good fun. I've been diagnosed with coeliac disease and proven that I am stronger than I seem, braver than I believe and smarter than I think (Oh Pooh, you silly old bear...) Ultimately though, this year has given me food for thought in that it isn't about me. It isn't about you or that random guy sitting next to you. Of course we are all stars shining brightly, we each feed off the glow of one another, breath life into the world and make mistakes. But really we're just tiny parts of a massive jigsaw and I truly do believe that working together is the way we ...

I'm on hour eight of being in the library. I've successfully drank two large coffees, and demolished *cough* some sweets and I think the chair is part of my body now. The particular reason for why I'm here left me at about hour three and the ability to walk or talk said bye-bye at hour four. Time moves quickly here. People come, go, dash, sit, fester. Twelve o'clock to eight o'clock slipped by me and my accumulative work doesn't feel worthy of those hours, nor does the money spent on food. Hours one to five I spent alone; alone but in the company of others. How can one be surrounded by people but feel so lonely? (An example of the Philosophical Crisis at hour six.) Plus, I can't quite decide whether the caffeine, the weirdly yellow lighting to the fact I'm studying Ulysses (or a combination of all of the above) are the cause of my brain to have shut down somewhere around hour three. Over the last week I have spent approximately forty (ish, maths e...

The last time I had a retail job I was sixteen years old. I had just started my AS Levels, I'd just got into my first ever relationship and had pretty much just  started socialising. My first shift was on 3 December 2011 and I went to one of my nearest and dearest's Christmas parties, where I met my ex's mum (she's lovely!) and had a good old chuckle with her. I remember how achey and tired I was but how thrilling it was; I felt grown up.  I left that job in April 2012 due to health problems and today, nearly three years down the line, I'm about to start at Waterstones. I'm really excited to see what it'll be like and to see what the customers are like too! It's rather poignant because I'm beginning to think about third year and beyond, my sister has just turned 18 so she's an adult too now, this Christmas holidays I may only be home for Christmas Eve, Day and Boxing Day. Do I feel grown up, though? Not so much. I still feel like I'm feeli...

When I was 12/13 years old I fell in love with a musician. Her music is everywhere and her followers are large, she's an icon. This woman's name is Lady Gaga. My relationship with her and her music wavered in 2011 because I was going through a time in my life that I subconsciously thought I had to change myself for other people. So from 2008-2011 Gaga sustained me. I was a scared, sad, lost girl with a wonderful family and a handful of friends and her music. I remember sitting in Design Tech on my own and everyone else was singing Boys, Boys, Boys and I just mouthed the words along. Stumbling across Gaga on a music channel was one of the best things I could have done. I joined twitter because of her, to join in with a trending hashtag ('#gagahasmyheart'). As a girl with no confidence I found something to feel confident about through her music; she didn't fit in, I didn't fit in. She was confident and hot and hella fierce and through her I learned to be that, o...

I've been thinking a lot recently about jumping; the leap of faith, the leap into the unknown, 'not all those who wander are lost', all that stuff. Tomorrow I begin second year and quite frankly I'm quite scared about it. The workload is daunting, the fact that it counts for so much is daunting, and the whole 'need to sort work experience out right now this exact second' thing is daunting. That's not to say I'm not excited, because I really am. I can't wait to get back into the routine of lectures and learning and seeing the people on my course again (they're SUPER lovely people). This year is a big'un because all my grades go towards my degree, I'm hopefully getting a job and it just feels like an important  year. The people I mingle with, the people I'm living with, the people I meet and have met are all so impressionable and I feel like I'm shaping myself into who I want to be, finally. (Not to be all deep or anything.) A w...

I've now moved into my second year house. House . What makes it even more bizarre for such an occurrence to, well, occur is that this house has nearly the same address as the house I was born into. Not only this but it resembles it to some extent with the high ceilings and three floors. I have, wonderfully, bargained the attic room. I get the morning sun (which, as Jack pointed out, is great because I hopefully won't miss morning stuff as the sun will wake me up) and a lovely little view of some aspens and the church. I feel rather settled here but it's still new; these people are my friends whom I saw a lot of last year but now they get to see me in all my morning and nightly glory. (I apologise, you poor people) We have so far embarked on a marvel lous adventure, watching all of the Marvel films ever (that's a lie) and we're going to see Guardians  tomorrow (that's a truth). I feel like the fact I'm living with film and media students means I will be clu...

July and August have allowed for muchos reflection due to a) lots of time on my own and b) lots and nothing has simultaneously happened. Two particular and very recent events have made me realise how, well, adult  I am. One occasion being totally and completely happy (yay, happiness!) and has just generally given me a grand old boost. Without going into it too much this even has given me a lot to smile about (I think I scare people I walk past in the street with my smiling antics... but that's nothing new) and I hope it will continue to have an impact on my life in some way or another. The other event is somewhat sad; it has made me realise that I'm the certain person who now knows adult people as friends and sometimes crappy, awful, sad things happen to them. (I'm so coherent and not vague, aren't I?) This person had a role in my primary school years and he was just a joy, a complete joy. I guess sometimes you have a shock like that to ground you a little bit and a...