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Doctor Who Christmas Special 2013

SPOILERS.

As someone who really started watching Who when Matt Smith came onto the scene last night should have been really special. And as I sit with a glass of Bailey's whilst my German cousins set up a treasure hunt for my sister and me I thought I should probably try and formulate my thoughts around what exactly was shown last night on our telly-boxes.

Aside from the fact that I didn't really watch series 7 seeing Matt Smith leave the show did make me really sad. The memories that this show evoked so many feelings and the conversations, tears and laughs that it caused are not something I'm ever really going to forget.

I liked that loose ends were tied and how it was brought back to the beginning of the series. The Amy/Doctor story and the River/Doctor story have been my favourite long-standing story of Matt Smith's time as the Doctor. That is not to say that I like the dialogue involved with it.

The writing of the special - and the 50th - I did not appreciate; co…

Procrastination and upside down reading

As deadlines approach and my first semester of university draws to a close I am experiencing my first time of juggling deadlines and essays without a teacher breathing down my neck. There's no "remember to bring your essays in next week" or no Mum or Dad to casually remind me to go finish this or that off. I am relying purely on myself and Phil Yeo, of course, to get all this work done.

We are currently in another of our 'work sessions' and it has comprised of us hunting down a tonne of books from all over the library and him teaching me that Macs are really simple to use and Jack stealing Joel's coat and Joel and me having a domestic via facebook next to each other. Productive stuff, really. I feel though as he sits and reads his 'far too specific' book, our time here has been a little more productive than our last session at his. We sat, as friends do, one on the bed (lounged of course. That was me. Of course) and one at the desk (Phil because he…

Baddiction

I have a bad addiction. A baddiction. I have had this problem since I was very young; I cannot help but spend money on books.

When I was younger I saved the little money I got each week so that I could afford to buy the new Linda Chapman paperback, which I was (obviously) counting down the days until it was released with way too much excitement and anticipation. Since May or June (I think) this year I have filled a Waterstones stamp card and spent £100 on books. As you can see, not much has changed.

When it comes to money and budgeting I'm reasonably good; I, for the most part, don't go over my budget and tend not to treat myself too much (especially regarding food - but that's my dad's doing; offers for the win!) and what's more I have only bought books ONCE since coming to university. ONCE. I mean, ONCE. Oh my. I don't know how I've done it, honestly.

(It might have something to do with the fact that oh my goodness I have so much reading to do.)

When I ha…

Performance and Art

With the recent release of Lady Gaga's new album, ARTPOP and the performances she has done in order to promote that, I've been considering what role performance and art play in our lives. I've mentioned before that I have grown up surrounding myself with books and stories and the magical idea of imagination and believing - that's lead me, to a certain extent, to be able to perform in everyday life. I can assume a role a lot easier than I really thought I could. Take, for example, my blog name: practically Alice; this is a reference to the Alice that you would find meandering the pages of Carroll's Alice in Wonderland, my favourite book. I have a sense of comfort when I assume a role or fall into the pages of a book.

As I've grown older, though, I've done this less and less because my confidence has grown - here at university more than ever before. I feel more comfortable being Claire and being a little less Alice than before. It is only when I consider the …

Feeling Creative

I am in a place full of creative people. Creative people who both inspire me and instill a confidence that I can create. It's a feeling I've not definitively felt before and, boy, it's good.

Trusting in one's own creativity and ability to create content is a difficult thing to do. We find it hard to truly believe that someone will appreciate the ideas and content that we wish to, and do, create; when thinking of a script idea or writing a monologue, it's difficult not to regard what a spectator would think about it. Showing someone your content, or sharing in that creativity you have, is quite hard to do - especially if you don't quite trust that you can actually be creative.

Since being in Lincoln I have surrounded myself with people who are funny, interesting and vibrant - who have inspired ideas and a creative trust (I guess) in myself that I didn't really know I had. The freedom to have your own thoughts, whether it is in lectures or seminars or outside…

Goodbyes?

I have almost obsessively wanted to say goodbye to all of the people over this last week. I'm not sure why. I think, partly, it's because I'm a strong independent wooman who is moving to new placespeopleandthings. But I don't know. Yeah.

(Gosh I'm eloquent this evening!)

I'm sitting here in my room which, whence I return, will look different due to, you know, actually re-painting it after five or so years. All that I have on my desk is my laptop, glasses case, TARDIS mug, meds, lamp and socks for tomorrow. I'm prepared. My room is empty. It echoes. I have my belonging packed in boxes... it's weird.

Am I ready to move? Yes. Do I want to move? ... Yes. I'm more hesitant about the latter. It's usually the case with change and me - I'm ready for it to happen, it needs to happen, but I'm not 100% on it actually happening. But I'd rather it happened than didn't, definitely. (You can tell my brain is fully awake and prepared for life ri…

Looking back (over my shoulder)

There are plenty of times in life when you sit, reflect, and think back to either a) 'the good old days' or b) 'the crappy times of crap'. There are moments when you contemplate decisions that you have made and the consequences that have ricocheted from them. To use a cliche, you think back to all those pebbles you've thrown in the water and the ripples that were caused by it - and you even might have hit a fish or two on the way down... it happens.

When I first decided to do a blog I was mainly thinking of it in terms of recording 'me' - recording my thoughts and feelings and, yes, venting a little in a very public domain. Sometimes I have these words and sentences in my head that just need to be written down. Whether or not they are of substance, whether or not they are eloquent, it's just nice to have them there and recorded. It is one reason why I have notebooks where I just write and write and write and write - and it doesn't matter what I say …

Shakespeare on Film

Ever since I was little I have watched/read/studied Shakespeare in some form or another; I've been really lucky that way. I remember whenever I was ill off primary school I'd watch the animated Shakespeare plays on CBBC. Secondary school also presented Shakespeare to me in film-form and in written form. It was finally my friend Jasmine, when we were both twelve or thirteen, who took me to see a Shakespeare play.

I had the absolute pleasure of watching Sprite Productions perform Much Ado at Ripley Castle for Jasmine's birthday present. We proceeded to go the year after to see Twelfth Night - which included much hilarity due to the fact it was tipping it down (being summer in Yorkshire and all) and the opening song "the rain it raineth every day". I will never forget the magic seeing those productions created - the inspiration they gave me.

In the eighteen years I have been alive I have seen roughly six Shakespeare plays performed, three times in a theater, once in…

Atoms

I remember the first time I got taught what an atom was. I was around eleven or thirteen years old and I was as keen as anything to learn. My science teacher held up a pen and asked people what it was made of, reduced the things down and down with a simple: yes but what's THAT made of? Until she described what an atom was; how everything we experience is made up of these tiny things called atoms. It blew my mind.

I think there is something charmingly poignant about how much that one little fact opened my eyes; suddenly I was even more interested in everything. As the years progressed I learnt about neutrons and electrons and then the Higgs Boson came along and despite not knowing that much about it all I am so interested in it. I love finding out about the world (one of the reasons why I love studying philosophy so much), I love that you can look up at the sky and know so much about it but know nothing at all - it makes you feel so small but so big at the same time.

Reading philos…

Giving love a shove

I was about to start writing this post when I decided to turn my ipod on and, of all songs, Boys Boys Boys came on. Props to you Lady GaGa.

Anyway, I was thinking last night about how the very romantic version of love we are fed is completely and utterly unrealistic. That's not to say that love does not exist, or you will die alone or anything melodramatic like that. But, honestly, there are over six billion people in this world; what are the chances that the person you may choose to call your 'soul mate' actually is?

I don't mean this in a depressing way -- Romeo and Juliet can continue to be all star-crossed and all that sort of thing. Love does exist and I'd love to be in love because it feels great. But to say that our western culture feeds us an idea of 'true love' that is decidedly between one person and another person for their whole entire life is quite odd.

I have one person in mind when I think of the possibility of whether without distance we cou…

Summer Reading (Challenge)!

I'm unsure if it is a nationwide event but every summer North Yorkshire County Council holds the Summer Reading Challenge in it's libraries. Ever since I moved to where I live now 14 years ago I have had some involvement with the SRC. From the ages of four to eleven I was an eager participant, then from eleven to fourteen I encouraged my sister to do it (though she tended to have a particular love for picture books until she discovered something she liked to read) and finally from fifteen to eighteen I have helped out as a volunteer, whether it be during the summer or encouraging people to do it.

The aim of the Summer Reading Challenge is to get primary school aged children to read (I think) six books throughout the summer holidays. You get a pack full of stickers and a book log and you get little prizes every time you've read a couple of books. I always really, really enjoyed doing this. Not only did it make me addicted to reading and fall in love with the library, it got…

Perspective

My wonderful friend Nicola is currently trekking around Europe. I am entirely jealous of her because of the experiences she is having and because of the incredible perspective she is gaining; we began talking about this trip of hers about a year ago and it has been a long time in the thinking and planning. Both of us being readers we tend to have book-goggles on and yes, our views of this trip were pretty overly optimistic! Saying that, Nicky has shown us on her blog that sometimes it's best to have the best outlook and go with the flow.

This is the attitude I uphold about pretty much everything. To me, being optimistic is what keeps me going. I fundamentally believe that things will work out okay. It does not mean that I don't get down or negative or sad because you can know things will be okay but also be sad or down. You can morn and appreciate that things are going to get better. Just as you can live in the present and go with the flow and know that even though things may n…

To A Baby

Dear Baby in a cafe,
You are growing up in an incredible age. The age of the unknown. We are balancing on a thin line that could topple either way and the future, Baby, is unknown.
For the moments that our eyes meet I see a world in your mind. The cogs whirring and your mind constantly processing everything. You see so much and understand so little; but that is changing.
It is funny to think of all the new things you're currently learning about. Learning to eat, to drink, to speak, to listen and learn.
The world which you observe, Baby, is wonderful. I cannot convey to you how incredibly grand it is because it simply is impossible to put it into words. It is wonderful - completely - but it is also full of terrible destruction. It's like a coin; there are two sides to it. I tend to pick the glass-half-full attitude, because I believe it will ultimately be okay.
There are horrible things that happen in this world, Baby, and this world is heading down an unknown path. However thr…

Eighteen

As my '18' balloons slowly wilt closer and closer to the ground and I ruefully sip my fresh orange juice and promise my body that tomorrow will be without alcoholic beverage it is finally dawning on me that I'm all adult and stuff.

I realise that the previous end to that sentence indicates otherwise but yes, I am a legal adult. I can vote and I can buy alcohol and I can finally socialise with friends on an evening without fearing for me life- I mean fearing getting kicked out. I guess I somehow thought that a miraculous thing would happen upon me turning eighteen... I'd be able to cope with things better and I'd not be scared witless about working full time for two weeks and I'd basically conquer the world.

I do feel more grown up. I have met up with a friend in a pub and discussed literature and people and to top it all off I've worked my first slightly hungover shift very competently. All in all, I do feel more ready to conquer the world. Alas there is th…

Go Gilmore!

I am currently watching the seventh and final season of the wonderful Gilmore Girls and I can safely say that that television show is my little guiding light. I (probably along with every other young woman growing up) can identify so much with the Gilmore girls. With Lorelai Gilmore especially; I love her sass and her ability to deal and cope with things whilst not dealing and coping with them. Also coffee, that I've got from her too.

I come out of watching the show with an almost elated feeling whereby I feel I can deal with anything and having recently put my big size sixes in it I feel in need of a nice little lifeboat (or tv show, either will do) that will allow me to have an (albeit false) sense of elation and empowerment and drive me to convince myself that I can do this.

I'm not a pessimistic or overly dramatic person but sometimes I do feel, like every other person the planet, that I am drowning a little bit. When I was at school I could easily 'take a step back…

Leaving

At first when I left school I didn't really have any clue how I felt about it; I was sad, yes, but I didn't know if I wanted to leave or not - so many emotions ensued.

Having just finished my exams and pretty much will not be going back into school until August I have finally figured out how I feel about leaving: I don't want to leave but I feel ready. I feel ready because I realise that I've out-grown the school (not the teachers though, gosh darn it I love my teachers!) and some of the people (I emphasise 'some' here). It's a place where I've had sad times and happy times, met amazing people and learnt so much. I've grown up there.

As much as this makes me sad, I really recognise that I'm ready to move on... ready to grow up. It's kind of like leaving Neverland in a funny way.

And who knows, maybe I'll be back teaching there someday?

New GCSEs

Having just read this article about the new GCSEs that we will be blessed with come September 2015 I am highly intrigued to how they will pan out.

Yes perhaps it is good for fourteen-sixteen year olds to read a Shakespeare play and a 19th Century novel - in fact I think that's a really good aspect of the new GCSEs - but the focus on examinations is something that I do not agree with. As someone who attends a competitive comprehensive I felt enough pressure as it was to do exams and I still do as I am finishing my A Levels. The coursework aspects of the courses I took - particularly as someone who found essay writing particularly difficult back then - were a welcome relief and a chance to develop and engage in essay writing. I understand that students will do 'mock essays' but this only increases pressure on students to actually do them - since they won't have 'official' deadlines - and more pressure on teachers to be constantly working on and improving the stud…

Expectations

I haven't even attempted to write this blog post until now because I haven't really fully contemplated the goings on of this past week. To say they have been crazy, mad, bonkers... dumbfounding even would be a slight understatement.

After spending the last three days recuperating and avidly watching season 2 of Gilmore Girls I have finally realised that I, Claire Margerison, have just left school. I have four exams and a results and that's it. Kaput. Done. Bam. Gone. Poof.

Weird.

My last day and leavers' ball (prom, whatever you may call it) were sublime - and I genuinely mean that. Other than the nearly fainting and having to leave and getting laughed at in the leavers' assembly, it was utterly perfect. I spent a majority of my prom catching up with teachers and just talking to them about the future, about the past, about my ex-boyfriend in particular (hah, sorry Michael - suffice to say I think you enjoyed the conversations too!). It was amusing and fun and just …

Challenge accepted!

I have decided (for a number of reasons, one being this AWESOME video HERE) to be more bold. To accept challenges. To push myself. To embrace awesome because, like Abby says in the video, it's good to carpe-diem-the-crap out of the world. I know myself more now, I know my limits (kind of) and I know how good it feels to push the boat out a little bit. Yeah, it's good to go with the flow but it's also nice to ride against the tide sometimes (holy crap on a cracker that's a LOT of idioms.)

A couple of posts ago I mentioned the whole Vogue thing, which was fun. So much fun. I really enjoyed the deadline and the balancing everything and the new writing style (interviewing heck yeeeeah) and just everything. It made me realise how much I love to work under pressure when I'm enjoying doing something. I think that was the drip that triggered the storm.

After coming out of a relationship a year ago I was more bold that before; I was so much more confident. I could talk to p…

Why I am currently liking Doctor Who

After my German oral happened and after a little chat with certain people today I decided to catch up on Doctor Who. I have missed three episodes of this series because of reasons and it was really nice to just sit down and watch them without all the hype and pre-during-post-episode madness that tends to happen.

I've loved what I saw of Clara Oswald before I watched these episodes but I just love her even more now. She's a really great character and I really don't see the similarities that other people are seeing. (I read a great  post by my friend Jess on this matter here.)

The way I see it Doctor Who is about people, about adventure and about Doctor Who-ness (yep, there is an essence of Doctor Who). For a while this just wasn't there for me, at all; now, though, I get a sense of that spark again - especially in the most recent episode.

Don't even get me started on the Clara/Doctor relationship because I love it so much. So, so, SO, SO much. There's something …

Is this real life?

I don't know whether it was the abnormally large amount of coffee I drank, or my medicine, or my pain or even my sheer weariness but last night I started to doubt things.

Suddenly nothing felt real anymore; nothing felt like it was actually the way things are, or should be. Cars, buildings, trees felt like nothing compared to the stars above me and the air around me. I don't know why.

I feel like it's probably because I've cooped myself up and worked every single day and had too much coffee and my meds are playing up but it was such an overwhelming feeling that it was really difficult to ignore. To feel as if everything around is false... or not false, just something wasn't right is a really weird feeling. I can't really put my finger on what it was, it was just weird.

I probably should sleep more... and read more... and stress less.

Sixth Form

I almost wish I could sit here in my Sixth Form Study Center and write something entirely and completely profound, but alas due to my failure with regard to writing I cannot.

What I will say though is that I cannot believe that in a month I will be leaving. Sixth Form has exceeded my expectations in terms of relationships, friendships, lessons and teachers. The exams I could've done without but it is so inspiring to be in an environment whereby you can actually talk about the subjects you enjoy in depth.

We, as adults - or thereabouts - are able to have chats with our teachers that are more mature and more interesting; I've just had an hour and a half of philosophy revision where we've had the most interesting and envigorating discussions. It's so liberating to be able to argue and talk and contemplate things that you wouldn't normally talk about.

The social aspects of Sixth Form have been great too - we've been able to go into town and go to the library to d…

Snapshot

I wish I could take a snapshot of every single place I've been and loved. Not a physical picture that I can look back on but a means by which I can recall it - recall the memory and the feelings and the very essence of being there.

Sometimes you look up at the stars and you get a sort of feeling overcoming you; it builds and builds and builds until, sometimes, you cannot breathe. I don't know what that feeling is but I want to recall it and bathe in it.

There are times where you're in good company and having a particular moment that you want to cling onto but simply cannot. I want to taste it and feeling and be knocked out by the sheer breathlessness of it - I want to be able to close my eyes and be there again.

I hate that I cannot.

You only live once

I've never really thought about it before but I really do not have much faith in myself. Despite being all up on the self-confidence thing, I truly don't trust my ability to write well. As I pondered the pages of an edition of Vogue I realised how little I know about that sort of thing. And by that sort of thing I mean article writing or editing or, quite frankly, the thing I want to go into in the future. Sure I can scrounge together an english essay or film a video but I can't really write.

They say 'you only life once' and this phrase is meant to instill some sort of enthusiasm towards doing everything (and apparently means one should dance the night away at a certain club...) and being spontaneous. This past year I've been more and more daring in what do, of going out of my comfort zone and it really has been fun but there are still some things that I simply cannot close my eyes and leap with.

Vogue is lying in front of me right now and it's foreign terr…

The Future

John Green tells us that "Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia" and I thoroughly believe that, in some ways, that's true.

We talk about our future, our deaths, what happens after we die with a sense of recollection. It's odd but I think we perhaps do it because it's the only way we know how; we only know how to remember. Our only experiences of death are those whereby we have experienced someone dying or have read/watched someone either dying or experienced someone else dying. In a weird way, we are recollecting. 

Similarly, we can only imagine was our future will be like by the experiences we've already had. Take, for example, university. My experience of university is purely through open days, hearing other people's experiences and visiting my friend - my idea of what it will be like is formed purely by experiences.

I can sit here and imagine who I'm going to marry, or what I'm going to do as a job, or many other things - but that is limit…

A poem from Cornwall

I wrote this poem in the summer of 2011 when I had a holiday in Cornwall. Since I have some really good friends there now I thought I'd share it. Enjoy.


The Two Fishermen
They stand and talk I imagine they’d stink of smoke and whisky and fish If you got close enough. Their skin is rough and deep russet red in colour. I imagine their hands holding wives and daughters hands Both parties knowing that fish lie better there. One smokes and gulps down some lager From a plastic cup; He imagines it stronger. The smaller one is dressed in beige, He scratches his white beard And readjusts his fisherman’s cap; I imagine his sister picking it out for him, a well-loved Christmas present. The men talk fast, using slang, I imagine for a moment that I can understand them. I am close to home but everything’s so foreign; These are different farmers to the ones I know, farmers of the sea.
They stand and talk I imagine their life stories and write poems about them They’re human, but they’re art too. The two fishermen are …

The concept of 'okayness'

Something I've noticed through both personal experience and observing other individuals is how human beings deal with the concept of being 'okay'. Generally we all have good things and bad things going on in their lives, take me for example: bad - back pain, medicine; good - family, friends, home, life, food, money... good stuff happening and change (change is an 'okay' right now rather than a 'not okay').

I happen to think that my life is okay at the moment because, for me, the good stuff out ways the bad stuff by a milestone. Throughout a day I may become not okay but on the whole I am - on the whole I'm happy.

I have noticed though, through reflection and looking at others, that we almost have this desire... this tendency to want to point at the 'not okay' bits of out lives and make them of a higher importance than our 'okay' bits. If I'm having an average day it can much more easily become a bad day than a good because I remember…

Night time

It's getting late (I'm making my way over to my favourite place... I have really got to stop randomly following my sentences with song lyrics!) and the street lights have gone out. That possibly indicates that I should be asleep but I'm going to defy that for a little while longer.

I'm sitting right by my bedroom window, it's funny... I used to be scared of being by my bedroom window because I thought someone would pop their head up and scare me - I guess I'm still scared but something has made me that little more brave. I've noticed that recently; I'm feeling more 'brave'. I feel more impulsive and like I want to change things. I'm kind of itching for university, but I'm scared too. Terrified really; I don't like change all that much.

I have a real desire to sit under the stars on some damp grass. To just lie back and look up into... well into all of that. Some people would say that it makes them feel small, insignificant and that&#…

Ask FML

Ask FM infuriates me. I'm not going to take a moral high-ground and say I've never asked a question on it, because that would be lying but it still makes me angry. (Note that you can in fact dislike something that you have partaken in previously...)

I can understand the appeal to both asking and answering questions - yeah, it can get some good conversation going. What I don't understand is that those two people could have that perfectly civilised conversation about all those deep and meaningful questions without the anonymity. Furthermore, why does someone immediately think "oh, I'm bored I KNOW let's post a link to ask.fm on my facebook/twitter page"?

If you're bored go and do talk to people (text, phone, family, skype DO IT), read a book, make a video, write a blog post. Why ask people ask you questions? I just... I guess I don't get it.

I have seen people horrendously bullied on formspring and ask fm and yet they continue to allow themselves to…

I need your help...

About 5/6 years ago I read a book and I found in fantastic. Regardless of whether I would find it that way now, I cannot for the life of me remember the title of this book.

It was a story about a 12/13 year old girl moving house, the book opened with an email to her friend. What I remember about it was there was a stone house by beach and she finds something in the house. The other aspect is that there are gargoyles which are magical and her mum gets possessed by them. I remember that it was set on the coast.

That's about it... can anyone help?

Telling my brain to shush

I don't know how many times it's happened now but I see things and I sit and I think "I want to do that. It's not faaaair" and then I tell my brain to shut up and quit whining.

I am an optimist and thoroughly grateful for everything in my life. I hate it when sometimes I get whiney or moany or blow things out of proportion - which is why I tend to apologise... a lot. Today, for example, I was looking at someone's sledging photos on facebook and they looked like they were having so much fun; they were sledging and making snow angels and a whisper crept into my brain: I want to do that. it said... wait, no, it was more of a 'I want to be able to do that' moan.

This is when I stop and think about what I have, what I have that I don't need, all the joy I have, all the kindness I have and, yeah, I stop moaning. I hate it when people tell others to put things into perspective because sometimes it's better for you not to, and sometimes it's impos…

Wishful thinker

I consider myself to be a pretty grounded person. I tend to keep things in perspective and, although I'm positive, I can accept when things don't go my way and move on. But there's a part of me, a little crazily-imaginative part of me that cannot help but crave the unreachable.

On down days I will sit there and genuinely wish Peter Pan would come along and take me to Neverland, or a White Rabbit with pink eye would run close by me and I'd chase after it. Reading is my escapism. I don't know why it works so well but there are days that I wish I could just fall into a story.


I crave the romance, the magic, the purity, the weirdness, the... abnormality of it all. I love my life, I love my family and I love my friends but sometimes - just sometimes - I like to pretend to be someone else. I want to be the girl who a magical boy who has the wildest dreams wants to come away with him, I want to be the girl that find herself somewhere completely new and crazy but fits in c…

Old Bunny

Today I realised just how old my rabbit is. I got him when I was nine years old and he's going to be nine in April. It's kind of phenomenal to think about how long he's been here - he's older that about half of my cousins and he's just always been there.

Being the nine-year-old-disney-loving-carefree-child that I was, along with my best-friend-and-next-door-neighbour-in-crime-Laura, I named him Thumper Cinnamon. He was going to be called Cinnamon but we thought Thumper suited him much better. He is one of many rabbits that bear this name, poor soul.

He's always had a problem with his eyes, I think it's a genetic trait of over-bred-mini-lops and pet-shop rabbits in general (let me take this moment to say PLEASE ADOPT.), and as he's got older that has got increasingly worse. Earlier this year he got ill and had something called e. cuniculi and as a result suffered a stroke in half his face and lost a lot of strength. Regardless of his age he did pull thro…

13 Things for 2013

This year I will...
1. Be positive --> something I always try to be but yeah. STILL POSITIVE YEAH.
2. Admit I am sad when I am sad but try not to let it consume me --> I hide emotions too much and then they tumble out and it's not good.
3. Accept help and support more --> tell teachers/people when I am struggling. That is a thing I don't do right now.
4. Try my best --> if I have a chance to do my A Levels, I'll do them.
5. Not be scared --> of people, relationships, life, exams, failing, surgery. ANYTHING.
6. Appreciate the world more --> when I'm feeling more okay, walk and stuff.
7. Ask questions --> helps the 'not being scared' thing.
8. Talk to people more --> keep in touch with people and strengthen friendships.
9. Stop hiding behind the computer screen/mobile/electronic stuff --> TALK to people and stop being scared about doing it.
10. Live in the present --> because worrying about the past and the future is pointless. Refle…