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Change

Change is a stupidly odd thing. We have to get used to things altering and things becoming different. No matter how much we want it or resist it, change always comes and with it comes the oddness.

We have to adjust in life; as we grow up with have to learn to drink and cook and be in relationships and be single and read and write and fend for ourselves.

I'm currently seventeen years old and I have no idea who I want to be. I have no idea how I'll feel tomorrow or what I want to do with my life and that is bloody scary. As much as I want things to change - as much as I want to leave school and leave the people I spend time with - I also don't. I don't want to meet new people and leave my current friends because I really, really enjoy their company.

I don't want to go from someone who (kind of) knows stuff to someone who (really) doesn't.

It's weird thinking about the future, even thinking about tomorrow or the next hour - you never know (to write a cliche) what's around the corner.

And then there's the whole 'should I, shouldn't I' scenario when we spend countless hours tossing and turning between doing something. We never want to regret things but we're also scared of doing the things that might prevent the regrets.

Change and the future are so confusing - they're so unknown and scary and ambiguous that it makes it so exciting but stomach-churningly terrifying too. I have no idea how I'm going to act or want to act in the next hour, day, month or year.

Who knows what the heck my brain will be doing then...

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