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The concept of 'okayness'

Something I've noticed through both personal experience and observing other individuals is how human beings deal with the concept of being 'okay'. Generally we all have good things and bad things going on in their lives, take me for example: bad - back pain, medicine; good - family, friends, home, life, food, money... good stuff happening and change (change is an 'okay' right now rather than a 'not okay').

I happen to think that my life is okay at the moment because, for me, the good stuff out ways the bad stuff by a milestone. Throughout a day I may become not okay but on the whole I am - on the whole I'm happy.

I have noticed though, through reflection and looking at others, that we almost have this desire... this tendency to want to point at the 'not okay' bits of out lives and make them of a higher importance than our 'okay' bits. If I'm having an average day it can much more easily become a bad day than a good because I remember and focus on the pain or a particularly bad thing that happened more prominently than the amount of people that have been nice to me, or the amount of people that I made smile.

We could blame it all on our attention-craving selves but, really, I don't think it's due to that. I think we almost want drama and not 'okayness' because, well, it makes things interesting. People - me included at times - get bored with things being 'okay' and because it takes a lot more awesome to make things feel really okay and good and not a lot of bad to make things be bad we dwell on the bad things.

This interests me because I can sometimes turn around to someone and say 'I'm okay' and they'll say 'are you really?' and I'll reply 'yeah, I'm always okay' thinking in my head I'm not okay but shush and it takes me a minute to realise that, actually, I am okay; for some stupid reason I presumed I wasn't.

Last summer I read a book called Alice Bliss by Laura Harrington and it was one of the most moving novels I have ever read. The bit that stuck with my most though was the list Alice's father writes her:
Cultivate yourself
Think for yourself
Treat all people equally
Respect your body
Don't be afraid to ask questions
Ask for help when you need it
Be your own best friend
Don't be afraid to fail
Do one thing at a time
Learn how to dance
Write thank-you notes
Good manners never go out of style
Treat your family and friends like gold
Give more than you receive 
Aim high
I think it stuck with me because those things, and other little things like that - essentially the little things we do - are the things that matter and the things we should be doing. We should respect ourselves and allow ourselves to be okay. If we want another person to be okay from the bottom of our hearts and will for them to be happy, why shouldn't we want that for themselves? Allow yourself to be happy and well and enjoy life.

I'm not saying this applies to everyone and every situation, of course there are times when it's okay to not be okay but other times remembering to be happy and focusing on the good and not the bad can do us a whole lot of good as well.


  1. I love this post so much because this is something I've been thinking about lately too.
    My need, it seems, to be not okay.
    I feel like if I'm okay, then the people who love me will care less. But if I'm not okay, they'll want to focus on me to help me - thus, getting their attention. Such a childish reasoning but it's stayed with me...
    I've recently been telling myself that it's okay to be okay and that the people who love me will still care about me even if I don't need their help.

    1. Thank you!
      I guess it seems childish but it isn't really... we all, as human beings, want to be loved and cared for. :) It is true though, people will care even when you don't necessarily need them to just because they love you! :)
      Thank you again.


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