Skip to main content


As my '18' balloons slowly wilt closer and closer to the ground and I ruefully sip my fresh orange juice and promise my body that tomorrow will be without alcoholic beverage it is finally dawning on me that I'm all adult and stuff.

I realise that the previous end to that sentence indicates otherwise but yes, I am a legal adult. I can vote and I can buy alcohol and I can finally socialise with friends on an evening without fearing for me life- I mean fearing getting kicked out. I guess I somehow thought that a miraculous thing would happen upon me turning eighteen... I'd be able to cope with things better and I'd not be scared witless about working full time for two weeks and I'd basically conquer the world.

I do feel more grown up. I have met up with a friend in a pub and discussed literature and people and to top it all off I've worked my first slightly hungover shift very competently. All in all, I do feel more ready to conquer the world. Alas there is the whole 'change' thing going on at the moment and that is entirely crap but wonderful at the same time. There are people I'm going to be saying goodbye to that I don't want to say goodbye to and my mind, being the complete puzzle that it is, is going a bit mental with it all but a lovely friend reminded me gingerly that it is not the end of relationships. Moving across the country does not mean it's the end of a friendship, just as swapping an seven for an eight on your age doesn't automatically make you world-conqueror-ready.

These past two years I've started drinking a hell of a lot more coffee (I blame Michael and Gilmore Girls entirely for that one), I've changed what I read and fallen in love with studying English Literature, I've been enticed by philosophers and writers that I couldn't have dreamed of even going near, I've learnt to appreciate friends more and I'm currently trying to work out how I work as a person. It's sound entirely and utterly and comepletely cliche and I feel stupid saying all of that but it's mind blowing how much has changed these past two years but yet how little.

Time is something we apply to things, it's part of being human - recording and accounting for time. Yet it's so wibbly-wobbly that we cannot really make sense of it. Changing the number which you call your age doesn't change much, just like time moving on doesn't effect relationships and people that much and by realising that things can stay the same and change at the same time we, weirdly, can realise that things can work out okay.


Popular posts from this blog

Today I am: a fire-breathing Queen

As you can probably guess from my lack of posting, Master's degrees are hard. Speaking to my fellow MA buddies, we can't quite pin-point what it is that is making us perpetually stressed but there's just something about them that seems to eat up all of your time ever. And don't even get me started about 'thinking about the future'.

I somehow forgot that one of my favourite things to do to relax is to take a bath. Earlier last term when our shower broke (yay student housing), we were confined to baths - and I vowed that I would take more as soon as the shower was fixed and not just fall back to showering. But alas, I did. 

Baths have always been kind of special to me; forever have they been places of chats, giggles, relaxing, music, and such a treat. For a couple of years I couldn't get out of the bath unassisted because of my back, so to be able to leap forth out of the tub with a gracious gazelle-like leap (I lie) is a privilege. I also used to not be able t…

A Librarian and a Penguin

These past couple of days have been very poignant for me. I heard of the passing of Mike Sutton, who worked at Harrogate Library and showed me the ropes as a bright eyed and bushy tailed fifteen year old on work experience. That week's work experience introduced me to the Young Volunteer scheme which I was part of for about five years; I met so many great people through it, had some laughs and grew as a person. Not to mention that over the years Harrogate Library has been a big staple in my life: providing me with books, friends and a place where I did most of my revision back in my A Level years.

Mike and I spoke now and then, in person and every now and then online. No matter how he was feeling, he always greeted me with a smile when I came into the library and asked how I was. I also am so very aware how much he meant to his colleagues, who will miss him incredibly.

The past couple of days I've also been reading a beautiful and sweet little book called The Penguin Lessons b…

Feeling stressed? Avobath

My next escapade into the Lush bath-bomb world was the wonderfully named Avobath. Admittedly, I did use this bath-bomb a while ago... weeks ago... and I haven't had time to write up anything until now. Why? Essays. Stressful essays. (Did I mention Master's are tough? No...?)

The avobath is lovely, because it smells fresh (I definitely don't do sugar-sweet smells) and that just intensifies as it hits the warm water. I'd had a particularly rough day when I decided I'd use this one, and it just made the bathroom smell heavenly. Costing only £3.50, too the avobath comes in 25p cheaper than my previous BBOC (bath-bomb of choice) Dragon's Egg.

A little less exciting than my last pick, but nevertheless still heavenly to the nose and skin, the avobath was incredibly moisturising and calming. Just what you need around this busy exam and deadline time!!

I've only actually got two (EEK) months left, including May, in my student house so I need to use all the bathing o…