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The Mad Panic

Today is one of those days. One of those days where everything feels like its piled fifty billion feet high and you're kind of wedged under it all and can't really breathe and breathe, Claire. Breathe.

I graduate on Wednesday, move to Kent on Thursday. That's plenty of time away, right?

Being in your twenties is troped so much on the internet; we all feel like headless chickens and we all have no clue what the heck we're doing. Which, on a normal, not mad-panic day, is completely fine. But today I'm feeling incredibly stressed and overwhelmed.

That's okay, though. 

The other day, my lovely lovely friend Anna posted this post, hearkening back to her fourteen year old self and giving her some sage advice. Not only did I relate to so much of what she wrote about her teenage worries and fears, but it was so accurate for how I feel now.

In a bittersweet way, I feel very much like Electra Brown from the wonderful Helen Bailey's teen book series. I feel completely out of my depth.

That, too, is okay. 

If I didn't feel overwhelmed or nervous or scared, I wouldn't be challenging myself. If I didn't feel like I had a million things to do, if I was staying at home, if I had chickened out of choosing to move 260 miles away, I would be itching to change that.

To grow, we have to push ourselves. To become better, we have to run down the hill, even if sometimes we might trip over a tree-route or four, or fall down the rabbit hole.

I am looking forward to my new, southern adventure, and I'm crazy scared about it, but that is completely okay.


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